Jen Pasquale
Organizational Development Consultant
Service Member's Branch - Army
Service Member's Status - Currently Serving - 26 years
 |
What has been your military spouse career/entrepreneur journey so far?
When I met my husband in 2004, I was a corporate trainer working as a freelance training & development consultant for global organizations. Once we married and started a family, travel wasn't feasible. I had already begun to expand my skills in Instructional Design but took a hard pivot into that space, leaving the classroom behind. I worked part-time, raised our kiddos, and supported unit families. I was busy but grateful to be working in my field.
When we moved to Germany in 2015, and my contract ended in 2016, I decided to take a year off and enjoy living abroad. We'd return to the US in 2017, and I figured I could jump back in. Surprise! We got extended for two more years. And soon after the pandemic hit. By the time I came up for air, I'd been out of my field, in the corporate setting, for five years.
During that window in 2018, I saw a need in the military spouse community for the support of our seasoned (or senior) spouses. I launched a digital community that eventually focused on supporting the spouse's transition experience during retirement. I loved that work but struggled to contribute to our family's finances doing it. In part because of that journey, I discovered strengths coaching and, in 2021, certified with Gallup as a strength coach and then later with CLCI as a Master Professional Coach.
Through my work with Pride & Grit, I realized how much I missed teaching. I missed learning & development. And I loved strengths. So, in 2022, I took on my first client, supporting teams and organizations with team development using strengths. I was back in the classroom and loving it! Since then, I've continued to grow my offerings and experience, now focusing on analyzing team cultures and providing recommendations and training for improving the teams' performance, retention, and profitability. I also get to use my certifications to coach individuals in a season of transition - whether from military life, a career change, or life challenges.
Tell us about yourself.
Hi! I'm Jen, a proud Army RedLeg spouse, mom of two teens and two tabby cats. Our nearly 20-year military life journey together helped me strengthen my love of travel, after living for Germany for four years. We're living in the DMV now, excited for the April 2025 walk into military retirement. With two high schoolers, we're making VA home.
Tell us about a "typical" day in your professional life.
If you've been stationed overseas, how did this affect your career and or business?
As mentioned above, initially, I could keep my career and my clients. But, when my contract ended, trying to find new clients from across the pond felt so difficult. I was happy to take a one-year break and volunteer more, but one became three, and three became five. In total, from 2015-2021, we'd moved five times. When I launched Pride & Grit in 2018, while in Germany, I moved that business four times in four years. Gaining momentum was impossible for me. Being stationed overseas was a fantastic family experience, and I wouldn't trade it, but it came at a cost to my career that I doubt I would have had to pay had to remain stateside. Being located at a forward-deployed base meant the operational tempo was genuinely grueling. Working, starting a business, and creating a thriving business while being the default parent so often was emotionally taxing.
What has been your biggest military spouse career struggle and how did you overcome it?
The biggest struggle of my career has been feeling like I'm standing still in my career more than I'd like to. I have yet to be able to truly test my potential, rise to the top of my profession, or pursue advanced degrees because the needs of the Army always took priority. I can't say I've overcome this, nor do I expect to. I'm on a different path now. I've made peace with building a business that fits the life we're building as military retirees.
What role did mentors and sponsors play in your journey?
What I've appreciated most about my mentors is that few felt there was only one way to be a military spouse. Some mentors worked, some were service members, and some were professional volunteers, but for the most part, they all made space for me to be on my own unique journey.
How does your career path differ from what you imagined for yourself?
I had always pictured a corner office, career suit, and fancy title in my professional career. But the truth of that dream is that it didn't include a spouse, family, or cats to care for. It likely didn't include the balance I now appreciate in my life. So, yes, things look different, and there are times when I feel like I've never been able to validate or realize my full potential in my field because of military life. But, I've been able to find new loves in my work and find new ways to serve the world, my clients, and myself in a field that looks different than what I imagined but fits me quite well.
How did military life (PCSing, deployments, trainings, etc) factor into your career decisions?
When we married in 2006, we had a loose agreement that his career would take priority for the next ten years, and then it would be my turn. With the operational tempo of the times and two young children, we didn't believe it would have been possible to focus on both careers. So, my job didn't factor in. However, we tried to keep my skills current and keep me engaged with clients I enjoyed. We hired nannies to back me up during endless deployments and training cycles, but even then, working part-time was all I had. We did what many did in those years and followed the jobs, bosses, and units that could give us the best quality of life or career advancement.
For my husband, this meant being at Ft. Bragg as much as possible so that I could be an hour from my family. In so many ways, my career existed, but because I worked remotely (before it was cool), we almost didn't have to consider the impact of PCSs on my work. When we reached the 10-year mark, we were living abroad, and I felt lost in my life and career. I didn't feel equipped to take on being the sole provider for the family. So, he continued his career. And I worked to reinvent myself, professionally and personally. Moving had a more significant impact once I launched Pride & Grit, but it didn't necessarily alter our decisions. It was just a fact, a fact we accepted. In more recent years, my work began to take center stage. Moving to DC was about helping me (and the kids) build roots here ahead of retirement, helping me build a network that could support my business.
Have you ever had to geo-bach due to your career/entrepreneurship?
Yes and no. We did geo bach 2021-2022 while my husband was in Korea. We could have accompanied him, but that would have meant a 2-year assignment and our oldest starting high school in a school system with a terrible reputation. We instead decided to prioritize the kids, my business, and our future as the kids and I moved on to DC and crossed our fingers that my husband could join us in 2022. It worked out, allowing our youngest to do middle school and start high school without being the new kid.
I could never have built the business I'm building now, working with organizations and teams from Korea. So, I'd be two years behind in my business growth and network had we joined him. In that way, it was the right call for us, and it was, at least in part, because it was best for my career and me.
My advice is to include the whole family in the decision. Don't make assumptions about what your kids may want or need. Ultimately, this was the right call for us but it came at a price. Our family had a rough year apart, and a lot of repair and reconnection work was needed when we came back together. I'm proud of where we are now, but would it have been necessary had we been together? So, be sure it's necessary. The impacts may be more subtle than you realize.
What resources have you found to be useful in your career/entrepreneur journey?
When I was working remotely nearly two decades ago, there wasn't much support available. It wasn't unless I launched Pride & Grit and got on social media that I really began to realize how many resources had come into being in those 15 years. I started with AMSE and loved knowing other spouses in a season of business ownership. I wish I'd found MySECO earlier and used their coaching resources back when I was having an identity crisis. I often promote resources for transition because that's the space Pride & Grit helped me know well. The resources that I've found most useful to me in my business have been outside the military space - APEX Accelerators, SBA, SCORE, WBENC, and local Chambers of Commerce.
Final word: what are your top tips for other military spouses about navigating a career within the military lifestyle?
For active-duty spouses, whatever you decide is okay. There is no right way to do this life. If you want to keep your career, be willing to ask for and receive help. If you want to raise babies, be proud of that; work will wait. If you want to find a way to do both, you can. Invest in quality communication skills for you and your spouse. Seek therapy if you need it to do this better. Good communication can bridge any gaps in expectations, needs, resentments, hopes, and dreams. I wish we'd been better at it earlier. If you want one, get your advanced degrees as soon as possible! At some point, you'll feel too old. :)
For transitioning spouses - start early. I've been saying this to my Pride & Grit community for six years, but now that I'm living transition, I wish I could say it louder. I wish that at this stage of my husband's transition, I had a more established, more profitable business to lean on. Living in an expensive area means we need two incomes. I wish I had a stable income to help take the pressure off him and give him the space to find something he loves.
| Listen to an interview with Jen to hear more about her story. |
Tell Us YOUR Story |
Meet Spouses from Previous Weeks:
