If You Don't Ask the Answer Is Always No
by Julie Waters, PHR
There are many reasons for the existing gender pay gap. What is even worse is that one of the reasons that it is not getting better, is because the majority of women do not negotiate salary when they are offered a job. In my experience, this is even worse in the military spouse community. I've been in the position where I was just so happy to have the job offer that I don't even think about negotiating. Big mistake.
At the recent NMSN Summit, I surveyed the room about how much it cost the average attendee to work outside the home in the DC Metro area. Factoring in transportation and parking, child care, a few lunches out, work clothes, dry cleaning, picking up takeout for dinner, all added up to about $30K a year!!!! That doesn't even take in to account the time you spend commuting. Apart from the normal household expenses and car loans and student loans, you need to take a close look at the actual money that you need to earn to make it worth taking a job.
Women need to re-focus our thinking when it comes to negotiation. Your time is valuable. Your expertise is valuable. You will be spending time and energy and emotion at this job. Negotiating is not some ugly thing where we are begging for money! You deserve to be compensated for your expertise.
Are you scared of negotiating? I bet you have negotiated big things before. Have you bought or sold a house? Have you talked a boss into giving you a project rather than giving it to someone else? Have you advocated on behalf of someone or something you care about? Have you hired or fired anyone? You've probably spent thousands of dollars on a car. I bet you negotiated that. The point is you have done this before, it is not new, and it is not something to be ashamed of or afraid of.
If you have a job offer in hand, it is because the employer decided they wanted YOU!!! They have gone through a process to filter out a bunch of other people and they picked you. They don't want to have to go back and start over, and since they have their mind set on you, you have the leverage to negotiate about money. You are getting the offer for a reason. It is time to be confident!
Aside from straight salary, you should know that many benefit packages can increase your total compensation up to 30% more. There are things here that can be used in the negotiation discussions. Vacation days are a big one. Your service member spouse likely gets 10 federal holidays a year. Most employers only offer 6 holidays. Ask for those extra days off. Extra vacation is always a good thing to use for bargaining. Parking or transportation costs, flexible schedules, tuition reimbursement should all be considered when discussing any compensation package. One of the employer's biggest expenses is health insurance. Since you are likely covered under your spouse's military medical plan you can ask your employer if there is a cash-in-lieu of health care option. If there isn't a formal policy, then a change in your salary can easily be made.
As with any bargaining discussion, you need to do your research before you begin. You should be able to find comparable salaries on line for your profession in your location. Once you have a ballpark figure, and you have factored in your extra expenses like lunches and dry cleaning, you know what your floor is. The lowest salary that you need to make to be able to live. Don't even think about going below this. Even if it is seemingly THE dream job, not getting paid what you are worth will bother you over the long term and possibly affect your performance.
Get excited about the job offer! And make the question of money part of the initial conversation. Just get it out on to the table. You can be confident in negotiating because they want you and you know you are good. You know you are going to work hard and do your best and you deserve to get paid what you are worth. Remember, you won't get it if you don't ask!
Julie was lucky enough to choose a career that easily transfers between employers as her husband's assignments moved them from city to city. She holds a special interest in career building for military spouses as she feels it is important to have something personal outside of our military lifestyle.
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