Lifelong Learning
by Krista Wells, Ph.D.

 

My daughter was so excited when I first signed her up for violin lessons. She pranced up the stairs and practiced after her first lesson all day; even wanted an "I heart Violin" shirt on our next shopping spree and clipped images of  American Girl dolls playing toy violins adorned her walls.  However, several months later I heard a queak, queak, moan, followed by stomp, stomp, stomp, coming towards my room, "...Mommy, I don't really like violin anymore, do you think I should quit and focus on dance and horesbackriding; its too hard! Can I quit?" I didn't know what to do, we had invested some time and money in her initial choice, but maybe she I was in too many activities for an eight year old, maybe violin wasn't for her? Then my husband (a Marine) came home from work with a new outlook and a different approach, "Honey, you don't want to quit now just because its getting more difficult, you love violin; we just need to get you on a practice schedule...tackling something difficult feels good" and convinced her to keep at it. Six months later when she played in her school concert I saw first hand that he was right to talk her into practicing more versus just giving up. She did a great job and her little brother looked up at me with the sweetest plea, "Mommy, can I take violin lessons too?"

This scenario was a great reminder that as adults we too often find initial excitement in a new hobby or skill, but then when our initial excitement fades, and the task seems difficult, its easy to give up even when we know that keeping at it would beneift our business and our life. For example, I recently took a self paced online class on improving social media and after completing the first few modules, never finished the course and I feel the reason has to do with feeling overwhlemed with all I was learning and not knowing quite how to apply it. However, instead of giving up wouldn't it be interesting if I set up a study schedule and put 20 mins a day into learning more and applying what I was learning? What skill do you need to brush up on and know that if you dedicated some time into would reap rewards, and inspire others?

As a life coach, I hear lots of people wishing they could be better at something. "I always wished that I had played piano" "I always wanted to write a book" or "My dream is really to leave my current job and open a Cheerleading school!" But why don't we values these dreams enough to take one step towards them, determine a skill that would lead to success of these dreams and spend 20 minutes a day practicing this new skill?

Sometimes I will dig deeper with a client that stops themselves with "But opening a cheer leading school would be so expensive" and I ask them to reframe, "WHO would you have to be to make this dream happen?" I asked these clients, "What one skill will help you the most right now?" And often times the answer isn't going back to school, but its finding (and finishing) that online class, learning piano online, coaching a local cheerleading team, or maybe even volunteering in an area you wish to develop. By focusing on "who you need to be" you are no only prepared for when that investor comes knocking and says, "I am ready to invest in you; and make your cheering school a reality" your anxiety over the lost dream is diminished because you are in action.

I interviewed an action oriented colleague. Bari, a successful entrepreneur in sales, and she  agrees that there are no short cuts when it comes to honing new skills and reiterated that to get better at something it takes practice. Her sales team is constantly brainstorming ways to work smarter rather than harder. Not surprisingly, the sales reps that made the most calls, made the most sales and the highest producer chalked his success up to planning out his sales meeting in advance. With added time management techniques, instead of reading feeds on facebook, he was scheduling several more appointments, and reiterated that there are no short cuts to planning, practicing and taking action,

Another colleague, a working mother and nutritionist, also shared how she benefits from practicing new skills. She said that her skill focus at this point is becoming an expert at managing her time and she is working hard to be more present both when at work and at home with her kids. She said that she applies what she is learning in yoga in her home life and finding it makes a big difference in her life when. She has learned that scheduling a few times a day to check emails from clients makes her be a better nutritionist and a more engaged mom.

Have a question about work-life balance for Krista? Ask here. Your question/answer may be printed in a future issue.

Krista Wells, Ph.D. is a professional career and life coach. She specializes in finding careers for military spouses. Through powerful support and encouragement, her clients achieve careers and lives they are truly passionate about. Visit www.militaryspousecoach.com  for lots of free resources on finding a career you are passionate about. Please engage in conversations where you can share your collective spouse wisdom on her Facebook page.