Goal-Setting

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

A Goal Setting interview with The Military Spouse Coach ®

The National Military Spouse Network sponsors various speakers and authors. In our latest tele-class we interviewed Dr. Krista Wells as part of our Goal Setting Series. Krista has been coaching military spouses since 2003. As The Military Spouse Coach®, she specializes in working with military clients who are trying to discover their career or find a "portable" profession. Her background includes experience in publishing, corporate training, human resources, and organizational development consulting--in both private and public organizations. She holds a PhD in Industrial-Organizational Psychology but more importantly she is one of us, and this down to earth mother of four has a fresh look at goal setting. Rather than goal setting being a daunting task, she encourages us to make it SIMPLE, and make it FUN, and best of all, offers the guarantee that YOU can do it!!

For those of you who were able to make the call, great! If you weren't able to make it, here are some of the tips and tricks she helped us with in our recap of the discussion on the importance of goal setting in this personal interview with Krista Wells, The Military Spouse Coach ® (MSC), by Sue Hoppin (NMSN) .

Audio Replay

NMSN (Sue): So Krista, Why are goals so important?

MSC (Krista): Goals make your life richer because now your actions have a clear intention targeted toward specific results, and you become accountable to achieving the results you desire, and if God gave you the desires, then guess what spouses, you CAN do it!

Creating and then accomplishing goals can become a fulfilling habit directed at more conscious living, and daily reflection on your goals becomes a ritual. This belief that goals are an important part of our daily living is what I want you to all walk away with! I want you to all see the value in meditating on your big goals daily as a lifestyle shift, not a specific goal that you write out on this worksheet (though we will do that too). Most importantly, I want you to embrace the new concept of daily goal reflection!

NMSN: That is a shift, but how do we get started?

MSC: Let's dig in with an example. Download your goal-setting worksheet and let's go ahead and choose a goal. I have found that most of my clients' goals are either a body, mind, or soul goal, so choose one just to play with. Let's not get caught up in the specifics; just pay more attention to the process of reflecting on this goal daily!

NMSN: Can you give an example of daily goal reflection?

MSC: Sure. Regardless of your goal, you need to revisit the goal daily! Yes daily! This needs to be something that works for you. One of my clients does this over her lunch hour at work. For others it may be journaling each evening with a cup of tea on their night stand. For others it may be that five minutes in the shower to "plan" their day, incorporating their big goal. For others it's meeting with a coach. You need to create enough structure that you will be able to check in daily, even if that means consciously taking a day off. Make sense?

NMSN: Now that we understand daily goal reflection, share some best practices?

MSC: Sure, I can just use myself as an example. One of my first business goals when I first started my career-coaching practice was to trademark my idea and brand myself as the Military Spouse Coach. The problem was that I was weary of spending the money, ugh. I still continued to hold the vision of having a registered trademark and I just kept taking action while holding this intent. I began coaching clients without a trademark, while asking others with trademarks about the process. I worked with the Key Wives Volunteers out of state and then when my husband switched units, I worked in a different state; initially I thought "I have to do all this again, ugh." But it ended up being a good thing because when I eventually applied, guess what? One of the criteria was that I had to be marketing my practice in multiple states, so taking daily action was useful. The goal was simple, even though it initially felt out of reach. My point here is you will get there and reaching these small short-term goals give you some motivation and confidence for the bigger ones.

NMSN: Krista, a lot of military spouses don't bother establishing bigger goals because we're likely to move before we're able to achieve them, so we think, "what's the point!" How would you address that?

MSC: Sue, I am so glad you asked me this. I hear this all the time. My standard answer is, goals don't discriminate! We can't let our life circumstances dictate our success, or we are the ones that lose out. All you need to do is create a goal within your life context and not let your life context dictate you!! Think about it: There are people who are rich, and people who are poor (that is life context). Their goals will look different, but that is OK. Some have a family, some don't, and goals will look different for both groups, but you can't give up. Some are living very transient lives (many of you can relate to this) but guess what? Your goals don't judge, don't care; they are still waiting for you to go after them!

NMSN: Thanks, now how do we write short-term goal setting versus long-term goals in our life context of being a military spouse?

MSC: Your short-term goals become "practice steps," that just get you moving and you have to be willing to let people know about your goal. For example, I want to speak in Hawaii to military spouses. I need to share that in order to make it ever happen.

NMSN: Yes! I have seen that letting people know about my goals is key. I remember when I was approached to write the book, A Family's Guide to the Military for Dummies. One of the reasons I was approached was because I had "announced" this goal previously, so when they came looking for an author, my name popped into their mind. Too often we keep our goals a secret when this could be opening doors for others to support your dreams.

MSC: I just love this example thanks Sue!!!

NMSN: Thanks for reminding us to share our goals; now once our goals are written how often should we revisit them?

MSC: Yes, make sure you do write your goals down (use the form we provided and make sure they do use the SMART specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, and time bound language but also write something that you are truly passionate about, and then get support, share your goals with trusted mentors and never give up! If you have the desire, you CAN do it!!

Remember…. Once you fill out this goal-setting worksheet with your 3 Active Goals that you are working on right now, POST THEM!! I want you all to buy goal journals, create vision maps (email me if you don't know how at [email protected]) and I will walk you through how easy it is! Thanks Sue!! And anyone who is a member of National Military Spouse Network can call me for a free 30-minute goal-setting start up session! So take advantage of my offer to coach you toward success!