Fall Back in Love with Your Job
by Janet Farley, Ed.M.
In the beginning, you were happy together. Very happy.
You almost couldn't wait to wake up in the morning, get dressed and rush off to spend the whole day at your job. You were positively giddy about the infinite possibilities that accompanied your new professional position in life. Your colleagues seemed so incredibly helpful and friendly. As if things couldn't be any better, the break room coffee wasn't half bad either.
You, my friend, were in deeply love with your job. It was the kind of love you just didn't find everyday and it was a beautiful thing.
Like many relationships, however, this one didn't last forever.
At some point, you started hitting the snooze button in the mornings. You didn't color coordinate your outfit quite so carefully and those incredibly helpful and friendly co-workers became tolerable at best.
In a final act of corporate defiance, you ditched the half bad coffee at work for a tall mocha latte with cream, no less, at the corner Starbucks. (Really now, how could you have been so blind?).
Let's face it. You lost that loving feeling towards your job. It was gone, gone, gone. Being the hopeless romantic you are, however, you want to bring it back, right?
Tip #1: Reconnect with your past. Think back to those blissful early days on the job when your jacket actually matched your skirt. What was it that you truly loved about your job? What has changed since then? Why has it changed? Think it through and try to concretely identify those factors. Determine if there isn't some way to recapture those long-lost feelings again.
Tip #2: Talk to someone. Relationships that go through a rough patch can benefit greatly from counseling. So, find a counselor. Maybe it is a co-worker, a supervisor or a genuine counselor. Talk through your concerns and your feelings about your job with whomever you deem trustworthy. Sometimes someone else who isn't so close to the fire can see a way out of it. Clarity and comfort might be a mere conversation or two away.
Tip #3: Take a break. It worked for Ross and Rachel. Maybe it can work for you and your job, too. Take some quality time away from your job and see if you aren't just experiencing some garden-variety burnout. Spend that time doing something enjoyable and relaxing. When you return to the grindstone, bring a fresh set of eyes and a willingness to give it one more try.
Tip #4: Change something with the “if-then” approach. You might not be able to change your real partner in life, but you may be able to change something about your job to make it more bearable. For example, if you find that you don't like your job anymore because it is boring then make it more interesting. Talk to your boss and see if you can't take on a new project or task. If you suspect your workspace is bringing you down then redecorate. If the guy sitting next to you is annoying then see if you can move your desk. If you find that you are too busy all day long then re-evaluate and revamp your workload. Build in down time to help you better cope. If you make little changes then you might see big differences.
#5 Give love a chance. You can't realistically expect every day to be a sublime one. Even the optimists among us understand that reality. Accept that there could be bad days, good days and many mediocre ones even in a job that you love.
No matter how much you want a relationship to succeed, sometimes it just isn't meant to be. If your relationship with your current job is indeed on the rocks for whatever reason has crashed it there, then have the courage to move on. Reassess your true passions and your marketable skills and try to find a new reason for color coordinating your outfits.
Janet Farley is a job search and workplace issues expert. She is also the author of a number of books to include the soon to be published Military Life 101: Basic Training for New Families (Rowman & Littlefield, July 2016). Follow her @smartjobchoices on Twitter.
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